Blog

Marriage works in mysterious ways as two people become one and yet do not disappear as individuals. Both partners have an individual identity and purpose differentiated from the identity and purpose of the other one. These individual identities and meaningful goals keep growing as a dyadic struggling-for-agreement-and-compromise couple's identity and purpose are created and start growing. Partners are to nurture their individual and common dyadic identities and purposes. This is a task for emotionally mature adults.

The time to repair a marriage is when you perceive the first symptoms. You identify the first symptoms in everyday stresses. Marriage, as any relationship, is like a plant, needs to be taken care of, needs to be nurtured. It requires attention, water, sun, and devotional care. You will get from your investment what you put in—more than what you put in because you may as well get some interest as time goes by.

How, who, and what can nurture a marriage? You and your choices can.

• Being invested in your partner
• Listening to your partner and understanding their point
• Knowing the meaningful goals of your partner
• Knowing your partner fears
• Asking questions (instead of assuming)
• Being available
• And sharing (recreational, planning-life) quality time

Accept your partner by supporting his/her individuality, be authentic, vulnerable, and flexible, and create relational intimacy by growing together.